I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
