It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
