Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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