so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
