At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
