Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize