You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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