Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
