That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Randomize
