We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize