eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
