Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
