do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
