so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
