He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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