I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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