I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
