yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
