i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
