remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
