we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
