Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
