If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
