He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
