he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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