booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
