Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
