She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
