the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
