yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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