I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
