I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
