if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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