She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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