an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
