Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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