your thong is hanging out like whoa
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
