You really coming over, don't trick.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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