you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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