So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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