We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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