ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
