these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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