If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i now understand why vodka
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
