I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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