But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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