When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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