I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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