My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm eating all of the evidence.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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