Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize