Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
