I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
