im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
