Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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