maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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