STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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