Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
