is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I can't turn off my feet"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
