when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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