Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize