if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
