Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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