i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
