oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
