You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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