so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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