well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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