oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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