I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize