I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize