like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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