We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
