Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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