He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
