just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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