So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
