Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
