I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
