Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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