If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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