i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
