Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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