I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize